Monday, January 9, 2017

Rock Your Bottom?

A gradual sinking can prevent immediate awareness of having hit bottom. One day, you look  up and wonder how you got there. Are you even at the bottom? What does bottom look like? Of course it's relative, and in my opinion, bottom is simply as far as you will allow yourself to go before you do whatever is needed start to move from where you are.


As in every area of your life, comparisons are rarely motivational. As Teddy Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Just as you define success for yourself, you are entitled, and perhaps even mandated, to determine what failure means. Does hitting the proverbial rock bottom mean you're a failure? Of course not! YOU are not a failure! However, you may have failed in one or more endeavor or area of your life. And that's ok - more than ok, even. Own it. Feel it. Deconstruct it. Embrace it. LEARN from it. Find all of the lessons this experience offers, and then use them to start over, try again, try differently or completely change the plan and even the goal.

Sometimes, delusion and denial can serve us for a time; often, we need it to keep us safe and functioning.  At some point, though, it just keeps us stuck.  And when we feel paralyzed or stuck and know we've been hiding (either from others or from ourselves) it's likely time to look within to see if there is something(s) we are resisting or at least failing to acknowledge. Since what we resist persists, and also robs us of precious energy, the first and most important action is to truly acknowledge that we have, in fact, been resisting, denying, ignoring or otherwise not dealing with what we know is so. There is simply no real movement before we take this step. Even if doing this feels really icky, painful, uncomfortable and heavy, it will weigh much less than denying its existence and carrying it around, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. What is that it? Whatever IT is for you.  We will all have more than one it throughout our lives. It will change and/or recur. And I submit that we cannot actually hit bottom until we wake up and own whatever it is we've been squashing down because IT has been squashing us down too. 

Your own hitting bottom need not necessarily involve drugs or alcohol, near-death, serious injury, hospitalization, incarceration, or homelessness, but sometimes it is that stark. It doesn't have to be.  Bottom for you may just be the day you look up and say, "How the hell did I get here and who is this person who looks like me but isn't?"  If you do find yourself in that place, after you go through whatever personal process is needed, then it's time to celebrate, because if you've determined that you've "hit rock bottom", there is only one way to go from there!  Perhaps you could put on some music and rock YOUR bottom! 

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