This is a question I regularly ask. As a Life Coach, I work with people to help them create more fulfilling and intentional lives. I am frequently surprised that the answer to this basic question is not immediately apparent for many people.
Ok, sure… there are times when we are conflicted or struggling to answer this question for ourselves. But even in these cases, we usually know what we actually WANT, even if we are not sure we should make choices to take action to bring us closer to it.
How can we possibly set a goal, make a plan or decide how to proceed if we have not yet answered that basic, foundational question? This is true whether you are trying to determine where to go on vacation, which home to purchase, what to do on a weekend, what career path or job to pursue, navigating and communicating within relationships, or how to spend our leisure time, and indeed, our lives.
Often, we know what we do NOT want, which admittedly, is a start. However, dwelling on what we don’t like, we don’t want, or why things “should” be different, gets us exactly nowhere. Once you have noticed, experienced and processed your discomfort with your current [fill in the blank], it is then time to move on.
The first question to ask yourself, is “What do I want?” You may say, “That’s just it; I’m not sure.” Perhaps, but my money is on the fact that you really, truly do know but just might not be giving yourself permission to want and/or to pursue it. (Which is not actually the same answer as “I don’t know.”)