Friday, July 22, 2016


I was in my local farm market last week.  It was a beautiful day in July, a respite from the 93 degrees and high humidity of the previous few days.  The colors were vibrant, the sky bright blue, clouds light and wispy, and there was a slight breeze. However, most of the plants were gone, many of the tables were empty and the employees were rearranging them. 

My heart sank a little bit; I knew what this meant. They were getting ready to receive 'the mums'. I know it's somewhat past the time when people put in the their gardens, but it's MID-SUMMER and still July!  This is the time when people generally slow down, take it easy, go on vacation to the beach, spend time with family and friends and create and enjoy the little moments.  It's way too soon for MUMS! 

MUMS = Autumn & Back-to-school! 

I certainly didn't dwell on it, but it did dampen the moment, or more accurately, took me OUT of the moment. When I realized later on that it was still sort of lurking, (albeit quietly) in the back of my mind, I knew I had to make a choice to stay present to the here and now.  I do actually love autumn, and have nothing against mums, but I want to relish the summer while it's here.  When autumn comes, I will enjoy that as well, despite the knowledge of what season follows autumn. :-& 

I don’t know about you, but I’m very grateful for any reminder to just breathe, be present and to simply notice and appreciate the little things in life. When you think about it, what else is there? And, being present to what is as much as we can is not mutually exclusive with having hope and vision for the future or planning as necessary. The problem is that when we spend much more time in the past and the future than in the present, we aren't truly experiencing our lives.  On the flip side, having a dependence on staying in the moment to avoid dealing with the icky stuff in our lives also creates problems.  Like everything else, it's about finding the right balance. 

If you need a bit of evidence about the benefits and power of staying present, try this little exercise: 

Recall a few specific times in your life when you felt pure joy.  Just think of moments in time. They can be recently,  long ago or anywhere in-between. I predict that you'll find they were often, if not always, when you were completely present and aware right in that moment.  

Thursday, May 5, 2016


Thoughtful Thursday . . . Well, only because it happens to be Thursday and I happened to have had this interesting thought, or really more like a 'noticing', the other day that hasn't left the front of my consciousness. (And if you had any idea at all about how many thoughts and ideas I have in any given hour, or minute even, let alone a DAY, you'd understand why I took this as somehow significant. 

Did you ever notice that simply by changing the position of one letter, the word SCARED becomes the word SACRED?

That gave me pause. I don't know why I never noticed it before. So I started thinking (dangerous, I know) Not being a particularly religious person, though fairly spiritual, I had to look up the actual definition. I do this pretty frequently, even when I know or think I know what a word means, to make sure it's being used correctly and to look for nuance. 

Everyone probably knows the most common meaning of the word sacred as it relates to religion, deity, and as a synonym for holy. Although I didn't learn anything new from my visit with Mr. Webster, the reminders were appreciated and resonant. In no particular order: 
  • devoted exclusively to one service or use (as of a person or purpose); 
  • entitled to reverence and respect; and,
  • highly valued and important 
We know, of course, that fear can be a huge obstacle. However, sometimes the particular way something is phrased can hit us in a different way than it ma have in the past. And sometimes, it's just timing. 

When I thought about the word sacred with its various meanings, and how being scared could be and likely IS in the way of my having or achieving certain things I deem highly important, I was a little bit surprised. It's not that I've never examined how fear has been or is an obstacle for me; it's that simply by changing the language, I looked at it a bit differently which was, and continues to be enlightening for me. It's a great reminder that changing our PERSPECTIVE can sometimes be the most effective tool we have. I've always loved words and language, so for me, this is just another reason to appreciate semantics. Nuance is important. 

If looking at this issue (how fear is in your way) changes at all when you re-phrase the question to How does being scared prevent or preclude the sacred in my life?, I'd love to hear about it. 

So, on a rainy Thursday morning, I'm raising my coffee mug to language, semantics and to creating more of whatever we hold as sacred in our lives!

Sunday, January 10, 2016


The word resolution, in the context of "New Year’s resolutions", is defined as a firm decision to do or not do something. If you have made New Year’s resolutions this year, how do you feel when you hear this definition? 

For me, it feels heavy. It's very black and white, and by mere definition, it seems we set ourselves up for failure. I’ve been averse to setting NY resolutions for many years, in part because I don’t like being ‘told’ what to do or when to do it, and I tend to resist fads. But mostly it’s because typically, they don’t work. At the very least, they don’t last. If they did, people wouldn’t be making the same resolutions year after year. I posted this amusing meme, below, on my Facebook page this week and many people liked and shared it.  this indicates to me that people can relate to the transience of so called "New Year’s resolutions" and especially those relating to diet and exercise.

Don’t get me wrong.  As a Life Coach, (and person) I am absolutely in favor of personal growth, living into and up to our potential and purposely creating fulfilling, joyful and balanced lives.  However, it is this commercial push to “just do it” and the feelings, energy and mode of implementation generally associated with New Year's resolutions with which I take issue. 

Instead of resolutions, why not try setting intentions and creating a vision for your life? One way to do this is by creating a VISION BOARD. Simply stated, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life.    

They are not magic boards and I’m in no way implying that because you place something on your board it will just appear in your life.  However, by spending the time to consider what you want, what you don’t want, and intentionally choosing images that reflect your desires and the feelings they evoke, you start the process of manifestation. Simply creating the board is not enough;  we must also create a plan and take actions that bring us closer to our goals and dreams. Although vision boards are only a part of the visioning process, they are a very powerful part. And, THEY WORK!

If you would like to learn more about what vision boards are, how to make and use them and even get some support in creating a vision for your life, join me this Saturday, Jan 16th for a Vision Board Workshop.

Monday, January 4, 2016


What are you “going back to” today? For most people it’s WORK. Last night and this morning, social media was inundated with people bemoaning it, in their own words and with memes, (some pretty funny), about going back to work.  My friend shared this one:

Regardless of how you feel about your job, even if you enjoy it and find it fulfilling, the resistance is sometimes more about going back to the structured routine, including getting up early and ‘doing’ the commute. For many people, with and without ADD, we have a love/hate relationship with unstructured time. (I use the term we here, because I absolutely fall into this category.)  We crave it and love it because we hate HAVING to be places at certain times, or doing things that we just don’t feel like doing at that moment, (especially if we finally got focused and are being productive) but we SO need it to survive.  When we have big chunks of unstructured time, there are just so many choices and possibilities. It’s awesome!  And HORRIBLE! It often triggers serious inertia and paralysis.

For some folks, these feelings of inertia and losing time may actually have occurred during the time off between Xmas and New Year’s and truth be told, many are actually relieved to get back to their routine. But even so, there is often a sense of disappointment, sadness and general crankiness that not enough was done, whether it be projects or just plain fun and relaxation.  For the people who are not at all relieved,  now it can be JUST. SO. DIFFICULT. TO. MOTIVATE.  With all of the built-in deadlines, imposed “necessities”, freer eating, drinking, playing and napping surrounding the holiday season, the adrenaline and dopamine were in high supply.  And now…. CRASH.  Before, there was overflow; now everything seems to be in short supply: energy, motivation, positivity, food, time, good feels…

Although many people do feel a sense of renewal, currently and temporarily charged up by New Year’s Resolutions, this is not the case for everyone.  If you are one of the people feeling a bit lost, you are definitely NOT alone!

Although it's not my intent in writing this to simply provide “tips”, there is one thing I would like to suggest:

If you notice you're judging yourself for feeling like this,
or“shoulding” yourself about your state of mind… 

You feel what you feel and if you resist what is, you are just wasting precious energy. Sometimes, that simple allowing is enough for you to soften and breathe more easily and that just might be enough - for now.  Also, when you give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling (even if unpleasant) often, a natural shift occurs.  If nothing else, you buy back a bit of energy which had been lost with all of that TRYING (and failing) to feel something other than what you are actually feeling.

If you’re not currently enjoying that sense of positivity and optimism that the new year brings to many, I’d love to hear from you to get an idea of how you are coping with this “back to work/routine” time of year.  I also invite you to share what you are doing, or what you have done to re-charge or to find new clarity and motivation.  Hey, and since I do tend to look on the bright side, here’s something good to think about: the sun will set at 4:25pm today, which is 3 minutes later than it set on January 1st.  :-)