Sunday, January 10, 2016
The word resolution,
in the context of "New Year’s resolutions", is defined as a firm decision to do or not do something. If you have made New
Year’s resolutions this year, how do you feel when you hear this definition?
For me, it feels heavy. It's very black and white, and by mere
definition, it seems we set ourselves up for failure. I’ve been averse to setting NY resolutions for many years, in part because I don’t like being ‘told’ what to do or when to do it, and I tend to
resist fads. But mostly it’s because typically, they don’t work. At the very least, they don’t
last. If they did, people wouldn’t be
making the same resolutions year after year. I posted this amusing meme, below, on my Facebook page this week and many people liked and shared it. this indicates to me that people can relate to the transience of so called "New Year’s resolutions" and especially those relating to diet and exercise.
Don’t get me wrong.
As a Life Coach, (and person) I am absolutely in favor of personal
growth, living into and up to our potential and purposely creating fulfilling,
joyful and balanced lives. However, it
is this commercial push to “just do it” and the feelings, energy and mode of implementation generally associated with New Year's resolutions with which I take issue.
Instead of resolutions, why not try setting
intentions and creating a vision for your life? One way to do this is by
creating a VISION BOARD. Simply stated, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life.
They are not magic boards and I’m in no way implying that because
you place something on your board it will just appear in your life. However, by spending the
time to consider what you want, what you don’t want, and intentionally choosing
images that reflect your desires and the feelings they evoke, you
start the process of manifestation. Simply creating the board is not enough;
we must also create a plan and take actions that bring us closer to our goals and dreams.
Although vision boards are only a part of the visioning process, they are a
very powerful part. And, THEY WORK!
If you would like to learn more about what vision boards are, how to make and use them and even get some support in creating a vision for your life, join me this Saturday, Jan 16th for a Vision Board Workshop.
Monday, January 4, 2016
What are you “going back to” today? For most people it’s WORK. Last night and this morning, social media was
inundated with people bemoaning it, in their own words and with memes, (some
pretty funny), about going back to work.
My friend shared this one:
Regardless of how you feel
about your job, even if you enjoy it and find it fulfilling, the resistance is sometimes more about going back to the structured routine, including getting up early and
‘doing’ the commute. For many people, with and without ADD, we have a love/hate
relationship with unstructured time. (I use the term we here, because I absolutely fall into this category.) We crave it and love it because we hate HAVING to be
places at certain times, or doing things that we just don’t feel like doing at
that moment, (especially if we finally got focused and are being productive) but
we SO need it to survive. When we have
big chunks of unstructured time, there are just so many choices and
possibilities. It’s awesome! And
HORRIBLE! It often triggers serious inertia and paralysis.
For some folks, these
feelings of inertia and losing time may actually have occurred during the
time off between Xmas and New Year’s and truth be told, many are actually
relieved to get back to their routine. But even so, there is often a sense of
disappointment, sadness and general crankiness that not enough was done, whether it be projects or just plain fun and relaxation. For the people who are not at all relieved, now it can be JUST. SO. DIFFICULT. TO. MOTIVATE. With all of the built-in deadlines, imposed
“necessities”, freer eating, drinking, playing and napping surrounding the
holiday season, the adrenaline and dopamine were in high supply. And now…. CRASH. Before, there was overflow; now everything
seems to be in short supply: energy, motivation, positivity, food, time, good
feels…
Although many people do feel
a sense of renewal, currently and temporarily charged up by New Year’s
Resolutions, this is not the case for everyone. If you are one of the people feeling a bit
lost, you are definitely NOT alone!
Although it's not my intent in
writing this to simply provide “tips”, there is one thing I would like to suggest:
If you notice you're
judging yourself for feeling like this,
or“shoulding” yourself about
your state of mind…
STOP THAT!
You feel what you feel and
if you resist what is, you are just
wasting precious energy. Sometimes, that
simple allowing is enough for you to
soften and breathe more easily and that just might be enough - for now. Also, when you give yourself permission to
feel what you are feeling (even if unpleasant) often, a natural shift occurs. If nothing else, you buy back a bit of energy
which had been lost with all of that TRYING (and failing) to feel something
other than what you are actually feeling.
If you’re not currently
enjoying that sense of positivity and optimism that the new year brings to
many, I’d love to hear from you to get an idea of how you are coping with this
“back to work/routine” time of year. I
also invite you to share what you are doing, or what you have done to re-charge
or to find new clarity and motivation. Hey,
and since I do tend to look on the bright side, here’s something good to think
about: the sun will set at 4:25pm today, which is 3 minutes later than it set
on January 1st. :-)
- THE QUESTIONS ARE MORE IMPORTANT
- WHEN YOU WANT TO BELIEVE...
- FEAR OF BOREDOM
- 11 REASONS MOST NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FAIL
- ON CONQUERING PROCRASTINATION
- Rock Your Bottom?
- MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR SUMMER
- From SCARED to SACRED
- NO MORE RESOLUTIONS!
- BACK TO WORK
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